Falling
by touchless-maiden
Summary: Serena's depression causes her to do the unthinkable, commit suicide. This is her view of the world. I used to be Starlite Maiden but changed the name.


This is a one shot story people so just enjoy. I've changed my name. I do like Sailor Moon but I wanted to be different, thus the ending :) **Posting again. It's the SAME story if you've read it before.**

Disclaimer: I do not own Sailormoon

_Look at all those people. Smiling and laughing like nothing is wrong in the world. Can't they see the darkness closing in on them like the way darkness is upon me? I can't see anymore. Why can't I see? Is the darkness within me so evil that I can't see myself? The darkness has penetrated the recesses of my dreams. I live in fear of the day when darkness will sweep its deadly claws at me._

I was in the park, looking at the people around me, all playing and laughing, just having fun.

_Don't they see the darkness hovering over their heads? Waiting for the right time to exterminate them one by one. The sun is going down now; everyone should stay at home, behind closed doors, so that the darkness doesn't get to any of them. I, myself, am a lost cause. Darkness overwhelmed me into what I will do this night. My soul is lost to evilness. I can't do anything until the right time comes._

While the sun is setting, I get up from my seat and start walking towards my apartment. As I walk, my thoughts wonder away again.

_I wonder what will happen tomorrow. Will there be a big commotion from all this? But am I ready for this?_

I think to myself as I wander up the street to my lonely apartment. All of a sudden, I stopped. I looked up from the ground and saw the sun setting, leaving an orange and pink shade in the sky. I enjoy nature and this is something to enjoy because it will be the last time I see it. I start walking. Lost in my thoughts.

_All is lost. I can't go on like this. I wonder how people will see me. How will Jesse feel about this? Jesse, my best and only friend since coming here, to this place that I now call home. I know I don't have the heart to tell her, and I know she is going to freak when she learns of this. I just can't do or say anything yet. But I wonder if I will ever be ready._

I turn in to my apartment and walk straight to the elevators. The receptionist waved to me and said "Hi Ms. Tsukino", but I ignored it. I waited for the elevator to come down, then stepped in. I punched the number seven on the panel and waited. I heard a ding and the elevator stopped. I headed to the door with the number 711 and proceeded to open it. The interior was spacious and quite comfortable. I entered the room and closed the door. Looking at the clock, it read 7:15. Then I looked at the window and saw the sun hasn't set yet, I quickly ran to the bedroom and took out a nice warm sweater. I then ran out of my apartment and up the stairs until I reached the top, the roof of the building. Sitting down on the plastic chair I had brought up because I vacant this place so frequently. Many a time, I would enjoy the view of the sunset, come here to relax and free my mind from all the stresses from the business life, but this time, I came to free myself from everything. All my life stress, all the problems that I can't solve and all the evil people that cover this world. __

_Oh . . . look at the beauty of nature. The sun is so majestic up in the sky, slowly going beneath the horizon. And when it does, darkness comes swallowing all my hopes of the next day. Some nights I would wonder if the sun would ever penetrate the darkness of night or my soul, which is now corrupted by darkness. What have I done to deserve this? This emptiness that I feel inside of me, it consumes me._

The bird's chirps near the place around the building where I sat. Seeing the clouds cross my line of vision, I look at how the magnificent sun casting its last rays across this part of earth, as it slowly fades away from sight. Looking out across the now darkening city, I see the street lights come on, bathing the entire city in gold.

_Beautiful, absolutely beautiful, but so deadly. A city that looks like paradise on the exterior yet is quite dangerous in the interior. That was what first attracted me to this place, so beautiful like a rose, but I never saw the thorns that cut me so deeply, coming. _

While I thought about my past, a blanket of black covered the sky above me and the stars came into view. I stayed seated looking at the scene before me like God would at the world.

_Would I be able to drive all my demons away? The demons which have scorned my feelings and crushed them like they were nothing. My emotions, the ones full of happiness and excitement and even anxiety were all lost when the darkness of this place stepped on it. All I am left with is sadness and pain. I can't take it anymore! The pain gets worse everyday that I am to be left in this hellhole. _

I could feel my tears fill my eyes. I suppressed my emotions. I tried blinking my eyes just to get rid of the tears, but I couldn't, all I did was make it worse. I felt a tear slip over the rim of my right eye and slide down to my chin. I couldn't stop it, just like I couldn't stop what had happened in the streets of this city a month ago. I start feeling more of my tears slide down. I couldn't stop crying. I couldn't stop the sway of my dark emotions. Oh . . . I could feel the immense pain bursting through the barrier of the cage I had put around it. The pain was all I could feel.

_What would it be like to fly? _

I wondered for a moment, while I stood up from the chair that held the warmth of my body and started towards the edge of the building. I looked down from over the edge where there were eleven stories from the ground. I could see tiny figurines of cars moving along the streets flashing white and red lights.

_It's so far away. It's so busy down there, with people trying to go home. Home, yes, they should go home. Darkness is so tricky. Once you fall in, you never get out. A lesson I learned the hard way. No one could save me now; I am a lost cause. No one should even try to reach out to me. A lost cause . . . A lost . . ._

The loud siren snapped me out of my thoughts. I look down and saw the cars are moving steadily across the street towards the side to let an ambulance pass. Once the ambulance had passed the cars, those cars had once again started down the street. I looked at where the ambulance had been last seen.

_I wonder what happened. I knew that this night would be the night of the devil. Evilness is waiting around the corner to capture all the unsuspecting victims in its path. It probably took that one's life. Now it is only waiting for mine. Counting the ticks on the clock to its mere seconds that would take my life away._

I look one last time at the beauty of nature. Then I look at the ground far below. I put my foot on top of the edge and heave myself up. My heart is pounding in my chest as I stand up looking over the edge.

_I want to learn to fly. Like a bird. To spread my wings and prepare to fly. My one wish will be given to me. Now, when I take one more step, over the edge will give me the answer that I am looking for: to be free. Free of all life's problems. Nothing will stand in my way. Now, one more step . . . but I want to tell Jesse about . . . NOW._

I couldn't control the way my heart catapulted in and out, continuing in its motion as I felt my emotions surface, all the emotions, the pain and suffering, and the hardship of life. I want to be free of it all. I felt my right leg move forward, slowly, crawling toward the edge of the building.

_I want to FLY!_

The last step was breached and now I feel the rush of the wind. The ground is getting closer and closer. I feel the freedom of how the birds feel. The excitement I had for flying was replaced with fear when I suddenly saw the ground coming closer and closer. I started to panic at the thought that not ten seconds away, I would crash to the earth. __

_Oh my God! Oh my God! I am going to die. I never thought that this would be so terrifying. The adrenaline rushed though my veins at the prospect of meeting my maker so soon in life, or afterlife. The ground looks so close and it keeps coming closer as I fall towards earth. I quickly blink and then I look once more. I see the ground right in front of my face and then . . . _

Nothing.

It has been three days now. I sat looking at the book in my hand. On the front, it said DIARY, in fancy italics and glitter all around. It had a lock too. I found the key in one of her jewelry boxes. As I start opening the diary, I notice that a sheet has been ripped out, yet it was still in the diary, folded in so that it couldn't be lost.

_Strange, why would she rip out a page in her diary? _

I look at the last entry in the dairy, it was the day before she . . . tears start falling again, never stopping since three days ago. The day I learned that my best friend had committed suicide. I never knew she had it in her to actually go and kill herself.

_Could it be my fault? Was I not a good friend for her? _

All these thoughts and more started to flow through my head. I read the last entry that she wrote. All her feelings and her problems were written down in her diary. I had only to read the dairy to understand what she was going through.

In three hours, I had read the majority of the book. I could see tear stains on most of the entries, where she must have cried while writing this. When I finished reading all the entries, more tears had stained the pages of her writing. I looked through her dairy, searching for the entry that explained why she had given up hope of staying alive. Finally I found it. The date of the entry was written on September 15.

_ September 15_

> _Dear Dairy, _
> 
> _I can't believe what has happened! One minute I was walking to _
> 
> _Jesse's house then all of a sudden I was . . . Oh my God, I was _
> 
> _walking and I crashed into this guy from my school. And he _
> 
> _grabbed me by the arm and dragged me into an alley way and I . . ._
> 
> _I couldn't take it and tried to scream but he put his hand over my _
> 
> _mouth. Dairy why did this happen to me? That guy, that evil person _
> 
> _had touched me today. Oh it was so terrible. First my mother died, _
> 
> _then my father practically threw his life away and now this. I can't _
> 
> _take anymore of this. After what happened today, I went home and _
> 
> _cancelled my meeting with Raye. She shouldn't worry about this. This _
> 
> _is my problem and I should be the only one who worries over it. I _
> 
> _just don't understand anymore, I'm beginning to think that this place _
> 
> _is filled with omens. When one danger passes, another takes its place. _
> 
> _This place, Harmony, was supposed to be a nice place for someone like _
> 
> _myself. A chance to get any from all the problems in my family life, but _
> 
> _all I got was a place full of trash like that guy. All I want to do is go _
> 
> _back in time and crawl into my mother's arms as she comforts me when _
> 
> _I am in pain. Another time now, for it is past my time . . ._
>
>> > > > > > _Serena_

Sunday, a day of sorrow for Raye. On this day, she was to go to _her_ funeral. Her best friend's funeral was to be held that day. Only a specific number of people would attend, only friends, family and close acquaintances would be allowed to attend.

As I got to the church, everyone that knew _her_ was here. Sitting, weeping, and paying respects to her. I walked up to where she was placed in the small church. She was in a white dress shirt and a dark blue to black skirt that reached her ankles.

After the funeral was over and the priest left, I looked at the ground where my friend now lay.

Serena Tsukino

Born: June 30, 1983

Died: October 6, 1998

She was a wonderful friend


End file.
